Dhobi Dulhan Le Jaayega (DDLJ reloaded)

What if the famous Shahrukh-Kajol film was remade in India? Find out.

The bullock-cart stopped outside the local kiryana store. Five rustic youngmen led by the village Dhobi’s(washerman’s) son rajender entered the shop.

“Uncle please give us a bundle of bidis” Rajender asked the sulking old shopkeeper.

“The shop is closed now. Come tomorrow morning to buy anything.” He said as he pushed the boys towards the exit.

“Uncle, I suffer from a severe lung problem and if I don’t smoke one bidi, I will start having bouts of pain. Please have mercy” Rajender pleaded.

“I told you to get lost and you better do so before I hit you.” The old man picked up his sandal to hit Rajender.

Rajender quickly grabbed a bundle of bidi lying on a nearby shelf and while running out of the shop, he tossed a fifty paisa coin in the direction of the old shopkeeper. The cart was already moving as his bullocks were accustomed to his mischievous getaways and they escaped without being caught by the old shopkeeper.

“Rascals, I will beat the hell out of them if I got my hands on anyone” the old man sulked as he closed the door of his shop and fastened the padlocks.

The radio was playing vividh bharti and the two young girls were dancing to the tunes of “nikal chali be” a bollywood song when the old man violently thumped at the door.

“Girls, your old man is here. Turn off the radio and pretend to read Bhagwadgita before he starts throwing his tantrums.” Said the wife of the old shopkeeper.

He entered the cottage, still mumbling curses and looking agitated.

“What happened now? Have you again drunk a lot or has someone beaten you up?” his wife demanded to know.

“No, nothing like that. I am upset that some of the village lads are really getting naughtier and more daring these days. They entered my shop and snatched a bundle of bidi without my permission.” He cursed again.

“So, did they not pay you the price?” she asked.

“I would not have been so upset had they done that. They threw a fifty paisa coin towards me but the bundle costs 1 rupee” he cursed louder.

His wife ended the conversation.

“Mother, please ask him for the permission. I want to go to the village fair tomorrow.” Sumitra the elder daughter pestered her mother.

“Ok, I will see what I can do” she assured her daughter.

“Sumitra wants to go to the village fair tomorrow.” She whispered as she served the 9th  chapati to the old man.

He wanted to say something but she was faster to cut him short.

“I thought that we would be able to get sometime alone when she goes to the fair and chhoti goes to her school but if you don’t allow her then its ok. I will say no to her” she threw the bait and the old man took it.

“No, why would I refuse? Let her go and enjoy. Its only the village fair.” He felt happy thinking about the next day.

                                                -----------

Sumitra was wandering around the fair along with her friends when they came face to face to Rajender and his gang.

They saw each other and Sumitra passed a smile. Rajender broke into an impromptu dance and started singing a famous Bhojpuri song.

“I am going to be married next month and day after tomorrow I am leaving for my uncle’s house who lives in the next district. Champu, the son of my father’s childhood friend has been chosen as groom for me and I will marry him in a month from now.” Sumitra said as she looked into Rajender’s eyes. They were sitting on a rock near the village pond.

“I will come to your marriage. I promise you” Rajender said mischievously.

Sumitra did not know that Champu and Rajender were schoolmates and Rajender had once helped Champu escape from being beaten to the pulp by angry villagers when he had accidentally set a farm of corn on fire after having drunk lots of beer with Rajender and his friends. That incident had made Champu a fan of Rajender and his famous bullock-cart which served as the perfect escape vehicle.

As per the programme, Sumitra and her family went to her uncle’s house in the next district and the preparations for marriage started with great fanfare. Champu was true to his name, an idiot rustic who did not know anything apart from playing kabaddi and gulli danda.

One day as Sumitra and her entire family was sitting in the courtyard of her uncle’s haveli, Champu entered with Rajender and some other friends. The old shopkeeper tried to recollect having seen Rajender but just then his friends called him for a free drink and he could not wait to miss the opportunity.

Champu introduced Sumitra to Rajender and she blushed silently.

The next morning, Rajender entered their haveli carrying a sackful of sugar on his back and panting heavily. He had thought that it would be very light but now his back was hurting like hell.

“Son, what is this? Why are you carrying so much load?” Sumitra’s mother asked.

“Its okay aunty. We had some extra sugar and I thought that it would be useful in a wedding like this. Don’t worry I would charge reasonably for this.” Rajender said in a very friendly tone.

“That is very considerate of you, dear. But we have enough sugar which we brought from our own shop and we don’t need to buy any from outside.” Sumitra’s mother said apologetically.

A panting Rajender once again carried the sackful of sugar to the cottage outside the village where he was staying and fell unconscious by fatigue.

Then the Karva Chauth day came and Sumitra managed to pass on the message to Rajender that she would keep a fast and would break it only when Rajender will personally give something to her to eat or drink.

“Girls are so silly. What the hell she wants to prove by doing this? Now I will have to find out a way to solve this trouble too.” He said to himself.

On Karva Chauth night, he was present in Sumitra’s haveli seeking an opportunity to sneak close to her and offer her a glass of water. Sumitra cleverly feigned to have become unconscious and in the ensuing chaos he managed to grab a glass of water lying in a corner and made Sumitra drink it.

After an hour the two lovers discreetly met at the rooftop of the haveli. Rajender had managed to bring a glass of milk for her and standing near the parapet, he asked her to drink it. As soon as she sipped a mouthful, she spitted it out and shouted at him.

“What the hell is this? It is full of salt.” She said and looked very angry.

“What can I do? I was in a hurry and did not realize that it was salt and not shakkar.” Rajender tried to defend himself.

“Get lost.” She said as she threw the glass away with all her strength.

Suddenly there was a loud cry and then they realized that it was Sumitra’s father.

“Someone has hit me with a brick. It has been thrown from the rooftop” he shouted clutching his head.

“Calm down, its not a brick but only a tumbler full of milk. Let us check who threw this?” his brother tried to calm him down.

In a flash, the entire family of Champu and Sumitra reached the rooftop and found the couple there. They were defenseless and admitted to their love for each other. It was decided that a panchayat will be held the next morning to decide the matter.

The next morning, all the village elders gathered and even the dhobi community was there in full strength. Sumitra’s father and his family clearly refused to marry her to Rajender. Sumitra’s father put up a strong opposition by saying that ‘someone who cannot even pay the 1 rupee for a bundle of bidi would never be able to keep his daughter happy.’

In their protest, the dhobi union warned that if Sumitra doesnot marry dhobi’s son then they will boycott the villages and not a single cloth in the district would be washed by them. This threat made the entire district administration and the populace worried and they fervently requested both the parties to come to some settlement.

Suddenly, a young man, dressed in jeans, a denim jacket and long hair parted from the center which even covered his forehead to an extent came and spoke to Sumitra.

“I am Radhey. I also belong to a dhobi family and why don’t you marry me for a change. This Rajender and his bullock-cart is an old formula and why do you have to stick to the same combination?” he reasoned with Sumitra.

She agreed to his suggestion and both the arguing factions also liked this arrangement. Dhobis were very happy because the bride was going to a dhobi household only.

Rajender tried to drink lots of beer in his attempts to forget Sumitra. He could not forget her but his regular visits to the wine shop made him fall in love with the shopkeeper’s daughter and once again his famous bullock-cart was the getaway vehicle for the escaping couple.

                                                           THE END